Relationships and sex after delivery
Being a parent of a child can change your relationship with your partner. Becoming a parent of a child is a learning process.
Most of the attention goes to the baby and you get less sleep. Make time for both of you to get used to the new situation and try to adjust. Also make time for each other. Also talk to your partner about how you divide tasks and what you both want and need.
Sex life
It is best to wait to have sexual intercourse until you do feel any more pain. In the first weeks after childbirth, the woman’s body still needs to recover. Take things slow. Did you have an incision or did the skin between your vagina and anus (perineum) tear during delivery? Then it is best to wait until the wound has fully healed. The midwife or doctor can give you advice.
Be careful when you have sexual intercourse for the first time after delivery. Take it slowly and very gently.
As a couple you have to find a new balance in life. Lack of sleep, stress and emotions can affect your sex life:
- A lot of women are tired, have a painful or dry vagina and painful breasts.
- A woman’s body may have changed permanently. She may have a different weight, stretch marks on the belly, the shape of her belly and breasts may have changed. You both have to get used to this.
- When women are breastfeeding, their breasts may be heavy and painful and breast milk may leak from their breasts between feedings.
- Women may not feel like having sex (less sexual desire). This is normal.
- Men can also have difficulties having sex again because they are afraid that they will hurt their partner.
Talk to your partner about your feelings and desires. Try to build a sex life that is good for both of you and fits your new situation.
Intimacy
Sex is more than just penetration. There are different ways to be intimate with your partner. You can also masturbate, caress, massage, cuddle or have oral sex with your partner.
Example 1: masturbation
Example 2: caressing
Example 3: cuddling
Example 4: oral sex
Contraception
A woman is fertile again around 3 weeks after delivery. She can get pregnant if she has unprotected sex, even if she has not yet had a menstrual period. Use a method of contraception when having sexual intercourse.
While breast-feeding, it is best to use a condom or the mini-pill.