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Talking with your partner

Everybody has different expectations and wishes and every relationship is different. However, it is important in every relationship that both partners can express their feelings, wishes and thoughts. Even if there are problems in their relationship or problems in their sex life, they should try to communicate.

A couple talking

What to talk about with each other

Showing your partner how you feel can help you start to talk with each other. You can talk about many things with your partner. For example:

  • your dreams and plans for the future;
  • activities you would like to do;
  • things you like about your partner;
  • having children or not;
  • your desires, fantasies and feelings: what you like and what you do not like in your sex life, techniques, jealousy, etc.;
  • your frustrations and irritations: what you do not want in your relationship, your boundaries;
  • safe sex: the use of condoms and other contraception.

A couple talking in bed about the use of contraception

How to talk with each other

If you talk about sex or your relationship with your partner:

  • choose a moment when you have sufficient time to talk;
  • try not to blame each other;
  • stay concrete (stick to details) to avoid misunderstandings;
  • show respect for your partner;
  • talk about your own feelings and wishes and your understanding of things.

Talking about intimate subjects with your partner is difficult. If it is too difficult to talk with your partner, try to talk with someone you can trust or ask for professional help.

Subjects

Professionals

How to talk about sexual and sexual health with clients? How can Zanzu help with prevention, education, help and counseling? Find the answers here.

Help?

Need help? Find a healthcare provider.

About Zanzu

Zanzu was developed by Sensoa and BZgA. Rutgers, the Dutch expertise centre for sexual health and rights, has adapted Zanzu for use in the Netherlands.